It was YOU that complained to OP's boss, wasn't it?

What should waitstaff call their customers? Asshole, dick and bastard?

What's wrong with miss? It's very respectful and doesn't sound like you're in an intimate relationship with your server.

No, I think the waitstaff should be kind, but un-intrusive, saying "hello there how are you all doing? would you like to order anything?" or if its one person, "hello there, how are you doing?" "you" and "you all" are perfectly respectable labels, I have no problem with them being helpful/respectful, but to me, Hon is just as insultive as any of your suggestions sweetpea, I know they don't think that and I would never insult a waitstaff for their choice of words or how they act, but I would feel very discomforted and try to shoo them away from my table as quickly as possible, I don't like having people wait on me and shower me with kindness, if anything I want to pay them quickly and give them a tip for their kind/quick work, rather than bug me so much with their questions, I would tip any staff member of any place I went to much better if they just left me alone, you find the same thing as retailer stores where you enter the store and the cashiers perk up and look directly at you and start greeting you because its company policy, I hate that, I want to tell them to just leave me alone but I feel like it would insult them and it's not their choice to be like that, so its a lose-lose situation for me

I'm torn on this one 88. On one hand I agree that the aggressively cheerful and blatantly insincere service you get now from a lot of places is very off-putting. On the other hand I actually am a receptionist/greeter and it is my daily job to greet. I do however love my job as I'm helpful & friendly by nature and really do enjoy making people feel welcomed and appreciated. It's true that it's also my job to chat with people and try to engage them as customers, but I'm usually pretty good at sensing when it's just not the time to do so. I think that if it's done in the wrong way it can easily be an annoyance to people, but when done right it can make people feel respected while their needs are being met.

Yeah I can respect you with that, but sometimes when I'm out and about, and an employ says "hey there! how can i help you?" and i just ignore them, they keep badgering me and then after i don't answer they are like oh... kay? whatever then and go help someone else,it feels very annoying when people expect me to want their help when I just walked into the store, I'm one of those shoppers who knew what I wanted to buy long before I got there, and I don't want tips or advice or help finding what I need, I just want to walk over to the display case, find what I want, go up and buy just that and leave, and a lot of people in the service industry don't understand that, especially corporate

I can appreciate that. I occasionally feel the same way when shopping. I have to say though that when you ignore someone whose job IS actually defined as service, especially when they are simply asking if they can be of any help to you, it can be highly offensive to them. Because I can relate, when I'm in this situation I often just respond with a second of eye contact & a simple "no thank you" and I'm usually left to shop in peace and the employee doesn't feel disrespected by me. This way when I'm finally ready for their help when paying for my purchases they're still happy to be of service to me and neither of us has any bad feelings about the interaction.

@ 75 I completely agree. I expect a formal salute and a party of ten waiters greeting me at the door (waitresses are allowed to curtsy and may skip on the salute if done promptly) when I enter a diner. They are to remain exactly an arms distance from me at all times, and should be trained to follow various finger cues (such as a half raised hand held for five seconds means "refill my glass"), so that they may be seen, but not allowed to speak. After all, I am the center of the universe. They are just scummy serving people. They should know their place, and their place is not my equal, nor should they make any pretensions at niceness (unless they are vague, tightly done, and obviously superficial). They are here to do one job, and one job only. Niceness is not required.

i agree, no need such hospitality

You ignorantly suggest that I don't consider servers to be my equals, and clearly didn't even read my posts, I DO NOT CARE TO BE WAITED ON, I know waiters and waitresses are very busy, and I for one find it a gigantic waste of time for one of them to be worry about me or trying to be super friendly to me when they have other customers who want/need their attention, if it were up to me I wouldn't want any servers/waiters, I'd rather go pick the food up at the front myself and carry it to my table, I hate being waited on, I hate people being nice to me because its their job, and as far as "not letting them talk, or be real people" that's absurd, I mentioned that I would never mock a server for their use of language or attitude, I don't see them as lesser people, but I DO see them as someone who is at their job, and should be working towards what's in the best interests for the store/every at large, and bothering me when I'm clearly not interested in small talk or pet names is not being kind to them, it's letting them be insultive towards me I understand employees are told what they have to do by their employers, and that a lot of people would rather just leave me be, which is why I never blame an employees' attitude on them, I blame 100% of all my problems when I go somewhere on management, the people who have control and whose opinions dictate how my experience is, if my waiter/waitress is doing something that I don't care for, I wouldn't nag them or berate them for it, but if it got out of hand I would insult the managements execution on service

If you think the waitress calling Hon is her trying to be intimate try pinching her on the ass.

I wholeheartedly agree with you, #80!