Intimacy: Dirty mind

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 11/12/2015 20:24 - United States - Porter

Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 606

You deserved it 4 705

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Same thing different taste

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 824

You deserved it 3 906

Stimulating

By Wow - 13/03/2012 04:38 - United States

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 588

You deserved it 8 886

By MrAries - 02/03/2016 11:45 - United States

Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 756

You deserved it 2 327

Quick as rainbows

By bonehead69 - 31/05/2015 07:06 - United States - Taylorville

Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 678

You deserved it 5 394

"I'm horny, horny horny horny"

By Anonymous - 29/09/2020 23:01

Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 3 058

By MissCan'tKeepAJob - 23/08/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 118

You deserved it 57 536

Lust for life

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 16:00

Today, thanks to a very intense sexual dream, I suddenly have a strong (and lustful) crush on a coworker, making me gasp every time I see them. I'm happily married. And pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 340

By CapNCook - 24/07/2013 09:15 - United States - Chicago

Today, a co-worker verbally abused me because I yawned. His excuse was that, "It's contagious". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 134

You deserved it 4 395

By anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 419

You deserved it 2 724

When work husbands go too far

By Ashamed - 08/09/2023 04:00

Today, I accidentally called out the coworker I have a crush on’s name in bed instead of my wife’s. The thing is, thinking about her is the only thing that will keep me hard and brought to orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 1 339

hellnosucka 27

Saturday 12 December 2015 8:08

to be fair though, Ops coworker is an incredibly sexy yawner.

The_Ikon211 11

Saturday 12 December 2015 8:25

palmala handerson always helps take the edge off.

Comments

Dune1988 18

Saturday 12 December 2015 16:51

Thats a fabulous imagination right there op. Im almost to the same point myself.

Captain_Debilos_fml 13

Saturday 12 December 2015 17:44

time to use your hand

GAeroNKissR 26

Saturday 12 December 2015 18:54

Maybe he's used to women yawning during sex...in which case, F both YL

TMWhisp 22

Saturday 12 December 2015 20:19

*Michael Kelso voice* BURN!!

pandaxpress 19

Saturday 12 December 2015 19:02

If I were a sexually deprived guy, I would do the same. If it fits, it sits!

vikky538 28

Saturday 12 December 2015 20:14

Don't watch a lot of ****.

jumpshot32 11

Saturday 12 December 2015 20:23

If you're quick enough, surprise ********.

TMWhisp 22

Sunday 13 December 2015 5:41

No.

az2015 9

Saturday 12 December 2015 23:23

aw so sad for you.. I'm a girl and it been for ever for me.

xTommytheGUNx 15

Sunday 13 December 2015 8:15

prepare yourself...the teenage boys are coming

kenwolfy 14

Sunday 13 December 2015 19:42

Nice

mitoito68 6

Monday 14 December 2015 21:25

you are stupid as hell. how come they put this shit here???

fml510605 16

Tuesday 15 December 2015 21:56

You got a boner cause you imagined your **** in her mouth and instead of yawning shes actually gaging

Keywords

Work Management Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Healthy Lifestyle Health Relatable Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Love AITA Argument Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, my now ex-friend told me she had feelings for my ex and was also choosing him over our friendship, despite being fully aware of the crazy rollercoaster our relationship was and being there to hear every detail of the trauma. She classily told me at random, in a public mall. People suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 428

You deserved it 236

Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 587

You deserved it 4 832

Today, I got into a heated, one-sided argument with my GPS, and ended up driving around in circles for an hour due to roadworks messing with my GPS's computations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 550

Today, my 25-year-old daughter, who normally doesn't drive, was out using the family car when she came back annoyed and emotional over the "stupid" cars heating being broken. She said no matter how high she turned it up it was still blowing cold air. I checked and it was set to A/C the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 387

You deserved it 932

Today, my wife asked me to come upstairs, all sexy like. I was sceptical, but I went upstairs after her. When I got there, she handed me a drill and told me to finally get on with building the flat pack dressing table. This is the reason I am sceptical. Romance is a lie kids, never get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 1 169

Today, I saw my grandfather kick my dog, who is a 6-pound chihuahua, across the room. When I confronted him about it, he screamed at me for having "too much sex during the apocalypse" and "invading my brain with your pancakes." This man is my legal guardian for 3 more years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 135

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 387

You deserved it 7 653