Love: Cringe

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 468

You deserved it 4 808

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Same thing different taste

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 396

You deserved it 48 834

By PissNTra - 19/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 906

You deserved it 5 263

By kdeeeceee - 09/11/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 515

You deserved it 4 571

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 417

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 26

How? Why?

By Noname - 12/03/2009 19:56 - United States

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 038

You deserved it 31 362

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 685

You deserved it 396

By impatient amy - 27/01/2009 14:23 - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 880

You deserved it 2 891

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 434

You deserved it 11 645

By heyhijello - 09/09/2013 22:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 064

You deserved it 12 720

rukusrazor 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 16:17

Why the **** would everyone stand in the bathroom and watch a plumber elbow deep in shit? Was that the most popular item at the potluck? If so, be proud.

biancagolden 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 16:14

Man up and take pride in that slippery beast!

Comments

Mnemic 5

Thursday 7 May 2009 17:49

Why not use a bucket (or two) full of water to flush the toilet? And then get it fixed...

js4138 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 18:04

That's a HUGE poop, sir. Congratulations.

mattmag 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 18:18

Lol #6 said exactly what I was thinking. If people took the time to stand around and watch, you should be pretty proud of yourself.

littlegolferboy 4

Thursday 7 May 2009 18:21

I congratulate you on your epic poo.

couragewolf9001 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 18:21

#6 is win.

theshewolf 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 18:22

wtf why does everyone have to watch the plumber fix it?

luckyyyme 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 18:24

That is bizarre that grown adults would watch and behave that way.

proudstub 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 18:26

Pride, you're doing it wrong. If you really want to regain your dignity then go back to this ******* house, act cool and if you feel like peeing or pooping then go to this damned washroom and do your business. You will "educate" them and teach them how to be more tactful. We're probably the only species in animal kingdom whose individuals are disgusted by what their likes do even though they, themselves, do just the same thing. Dogs have a much more developed sense of smell, they must find our "sent" quite nauseating but they nevertheless love us. **** sapiens, ew !

jm88 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 18:32

#20 and #2 are pretty much assholes. Some people dont have plungers nearby... or a "vessel" to carry water from the sink to the toilet. Who the hell would let you carry a glass to the toilet? FYL for sure. I am always paranoid about this at a new toilet. I do a practice flush.. but still.. you never know.

nikkireese 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 19:04

I agree w #19: f their lives for watching. and i agree w #25: congrats on the epic poo. and if it was a 1/2 bathroom (like just a toilet and a sink), its unlikely that there would have been a bucket around. and i imagine the situation would have been worse if he left the bathroom to find a bucket, and while he was out, someone else found his present in the toilet and freaked out.