Love, Awkward and Birds: Cool moves, Dahmer

Cool moves, Dahmer

By IwantOff - 09/10/2022 07:30

Today, as my new boyfriend was taking me home from our first date, a family of ducks walked across the road. I yelled at him to stop, but he ran over every single one of them. His logic? “They shouldn’t have been in the way,” and it was “natural selection anyway for them being so stupid.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 133

You deserved it 189

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By newly passed, newly grassed - 06/12/2014 17:04 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 122

You deserved it 8 392

No, Drake, no

By dumb cats - 24/10/2020 05:01 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking near a pond when we saw a drake forcefully mating with a duck. She burst into tears and demanded I stop them. When I told her no, that it’s just nature and thats how they breed, she dumped me for supporting and "enabling rape." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 200

You deserved it 704

By dating a big bag of dicks - 13/05/2014 21:02 - United States

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 480

You deserved it 9 207

Alas, poor Donald

By Hit and Run - 13/07/2021 07:59 - United States

Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 96

By Quackers - 11/04/2012 15:39 - United States - Denver

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 505

You deserved it 37 314

By Outfoxed - 07/08/2018 22:00

Today, I'm moving to the barn. Two weeks ago I bought my girlfriend the birthday gift she most wanted: two ducklings. They’re scatting everywhere but she eats, cuddles, and sleeps with them in our bed. I asked if they could go live outside and she said, "No, you can." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 720

You deserved it 690

By DuckyKiller - 20/06/2009 12:11 - United States

Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 554

You deserved it 57 448

By duckwater - 01/03/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 827

You deserved it 4 124

By SwordFish8 - 04/07/2009 21:56 - United States

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 868

You deserved it 64 533

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 721

You deserved it 2 731

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Sunday 9 October 2022 13:24

And you still refer to this human red flag as your boyfriend?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 9 October 2022 15:15

If you keep dating this psychopathic serial killer, you'd be a ducking idiot!

Comments

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Sunday 9 October 2022 13:24

And you still refer to this human red flag as your boyfriend?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 9 October 2022 15:15

If you keep dating this psychopathic serial killer, you'd be a ducking idiot!

Hangryko 29

Sunday 9 October 2022 17:11

Ghost & block the psycho yesterday.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 9 October 2022 21:54

Time to dump the psycho's ass. That's the makings of a serial killer.

slhiggx 17

Monday 10 October 2022 1:14

First date = boyfriend ?? And the other thing is mental as well.

D J's MOM 17

Monday 10 October 2022 12:32

I would have beat his ass. also you can report him for animal cruelty.

Ubehage 32

Monday 10 October 2022 13:15

Only is the ducks suffered in pain. Killing does not equal cruelty.

Ubehage 32

Monday 10 October 2022 13:14

YDI for still referring to him as your boyfriend.

spinningrecords 14

Monday 10 October 2022 15:37

Hopefully that was your last date. Sounds like he is a real prize.

idragosani 14

Monday 10 October 2022 19:11

Guess he's your ex boyfriend now

Sonotsuave 35

Tuesday 11 October 2022 5:22

What the **** kind of human did you go out with? And why are you still talking to him? That’s the second you call the police, animal control, something & get the **** away from such an awful & unreasonably angry human!