Intimacy: Classic

Classic

By anonymous - 07/04/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend of 3 years in his living room when a girl barges in, sees us, and screams, "I knew it!" then rushes out. My boyfriend gets up, grabs his pants, and, while chasing after her, yells, "Baby, she's nothing, you know I only love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 248

You deserved it 7 288

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/07/2016 22:01

Today, my roommate's boyfriend professed his love to me. I kicked him out, and he stood outside the door calling my name until he saw my roommate coming down the hall. They both came in and he acted like nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 962

You deserved it 1 120

By Anonymous - 05/04/2009 09:43 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161 858

You deserved it 16 391

Silver linings

By KANCHI - 02/06/2022 17:30 - India - Gurgaon

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the middle of great sex when he suddenly called out his ex's name. Just before I decided to yell at him and throw him out of my room, I realised he performed better when he yelled her name. So, I let him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 636

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 06:29 - Canada - Calgary

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 673

You deserved it 3 919

Assumptions

By 181999 - 14/09/2013 20:47 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 445

You deserved it 54 337

By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 642

You deserved it 86 676

By Anonymous - 22/03/2011 05:54 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 517

You deserved it 29 621

By justagirl - 02/12/2014 05:40 - United States - Roseville

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 918

You deserved it 5 886

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257 835

You deserved it 17 731

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 681

You deserved it 10 543

NayaBayBeee 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 12:23

Dump Him. That sucks OP. Punch him in the balls when and if you see him again(:

Quest_ 13

Wednesday 7 April 2010 12:25

Oh, man. **** your life. I don't even know what to say.

Comments

okieraider71 4

Wednesday 7 April 2010 15:45

At least he was FINALLY honest with you ( she is nothing). A lesson learned in life. Next time you will be harder to cheat on.

NoRegrets187 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 16:06

yeah, definately sounds fake and made up.

Grinner 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 16:26

you can lie for 3 years, the problem is keeping the lie alive. the guy didn't have a life for giving such a hard work. after 1 year, the person goes missing in action with there fellings...you are sharing fluids my friend.

Grinner 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 16:28

you can lie for 3 years, the problem is keeping the lie alive. the guy didn't have a life for giving such a hard work.

darkmis1 17

Wednesday 7 April 2010 16:37

Damn that sucks. I'm sorry, OP.

Grinner 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 16:41

after a year and the fellings of a person are missing in action...your sharing fluids my friend.

samanthazaremba 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 16:52

It's not difficult to cheat on someone apparently. I just found out I was cheating on & I had absolutely no idea.

pro21 3

Wednesday 7 April 2010 16:57

how do you 'find out' you were cheating?

samanthazaremba 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 17:00

That he was cheating on me? He told me a few weeks ago because we're friends now & he felt bad.

breaking6883 17

Sunday 25 January 2015 19:28

She meant to say cheated on I guess.

slowlybreakingme 14

Wednesday 7 April 2010 16:56

That has got to be the worst FML ever. Not on your part, but that guy had got to be the biggest douche. And that has to be the worst possible way for YOU to find out.

samanthazaremba 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 16:58

If he was seeing the other girl too she probably had a key to his house assuming he lives on his own. So she could of "barged in".

stewpididiot 11

Wednesday 7 April 2010 17:16

I thought 'having it off' was an English, or British term. like, 'whilst'. WTF is a West Virginian talking like that for? What a Wanker

Cinn_fml 22

Wednesday 7 April 2010 18:34

Maybe they moved during their lifetime? Maybe they have family in the UK? There are many reasons why they might use different phrases to you, so STFU.