Intimacy: Classic

Classic

By anonymous - 07/04/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend of 3 years in his living room when a girl barges in, sees us, and screams, "I knew it!" then rushes out. My boyfriend gets up, grabs his pants, and, while chasing after her, yells, "Baby, she's nothing, you know I only love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 248

You deserved it 7 288

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/07/2016 22:01

Today, my roommate's boyfriend professed his love to me. I kicked him out, and he stood outside the door calling my name until he saw my roommate coming down the hall. They both came in and he acted like nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 962

You deserved it 1 120

By Anonymous - 05/04/2009 09:43 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161 858

You deserved it 16 391

Silver linings

By KANCHI - 02/06/2022 17:30 - India - Gurgaon

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the middle of great sex when he suddenly called out his ex's name. Just before I decided to yell at him and throw him out of my room, I realised he performed better when he yelled her name. So, I let him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 636

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 06:29 - Canada - Calgary

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 673

You deserved it 3 919

Assumptions

By 181999 - 14/09/2013 20:47 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 445

You deserved it 54 337

By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 642

You deserved it 86 676

By Anonymous - 22/03/2011 05:54 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 517

You deserved it 29 621

By justagirl - 02/12/2014 05:40 - United States - Roseville

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 918

You deserved it 5 886

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257 835

You deserved it 17 731

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 681

You deserved it 10 543

NayaBayBeee 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 12:23

Dump Him. That sucks OP. Punch him in the balls when and if you see him again(:

Quest_ 13

Wednesday 7 April 2010 12:25

Oh, man. **** your life. I don't even know what to say.

Comments

SOULFFEJ 14

Thursday 16 June 2011 4:28

PLEASE tell me you broke his nose?

Sns4ife89 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 3:46

Tham that sucks sorry to hear that

MoglieHill 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 7:46

How did you not know that though after three years...? Just saying its kind of hard to imagine you'd not suspect anything

Alyta 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 4:31

Wow! Idk how it is possible that things like this happen! 3 years and you never suspected he had a gf! Wow!

ShadowBitch99 2

Sunday 30 October 2011 22:04

Kick his AAASSSS!!!

lotrgeek 10

Thursday 5 January 2012 18:14

Ouch.,

NykesterWaltzz 20

Friday 29 March 2013 20:18

What a dick. Break one of his favourite items and say it was a mistake.

tewa21 12

Sunday 21 April 2013 23:18

My heart goes out to you. I would have let my dog attack him

lululatenight 28

Monday 6 May 2013 2:30

Well that's awful. And it proves that there are two sides to every story

Bl0ndi3 6

Thursday 13 June 2013 3:13

Well he's a dick. Sorry guys are jerks

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Shopping My ex Awkward Relatable Racism Family AITA Kids Love Cheating Work Break-ups Cute Cats Animals Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Mental health Psychology Health Neighbours Cops Scary Stressed out Parents

The Top

Today, I thought I'd patched up the hole in my window pretty well. That is, until I heard a buzzing noise in my room. There was a huge ass bee that somehow got inside and was trying to escape. I would've helped, but I'm terrified of bees, and I'm now afraid to enter my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 199

Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 906

You deserved it 2 784

The Top

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 660

You deserved it 3 009

Today, as always, my boss is too cheap to buy more than 2 profiles for a critical software. Six employees compete in a daily thunderdome to log on and do their work before getting kicked off and losing everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 88

Today, I went on a jogging date with a guy I'd been on a couple of dates with. I was a little worried that I wouldn't keep up, but I did and everything was fine. Or at least I thought so. After we'd finished, he dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 82

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 279

You deserved it 3 945

Today, I arrived at work to find a bullet hole in the window of the storefront we're leasing. Security assured me it had always been there and the glass shards on the floor had somehow been missed in my many vacuum passes and the pre-lease inspection two months ago, so no need to worry or fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 979

You deserved it 1 354

Today, I was interacting with someone on a video game, and the topic somehow got switched to mental illness. When I told him about my problems, he was very sympathetic and understanding. A complete stranger cares more about me than my actual family. I'm not sure if I should be happy or crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 131

Classic

Same thing different taste

Silver linings

Assumptions

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