Boundaries

By Sfg_926 - 26/06/2016 05:02 - United States - Newberg

Today, I told one of my coworkers that she looked really cute today. Later she sent an email to me and cc'd the entire office saying, "It really makes me feel uncomfortable when you say things like that to me. And I shouldn't have to feel that way at work." FML
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

zobara 29

Answer her politly, "I'm really sorry making you feel that way by telling you something nice, I'll do it never again" and don't forget to cc it to all others. That's a way to let know the others, how stupid she is, without saying it.

413 35
9a_z1 11

Well, at least now you and everyone else know not to compliment her on her appearance!

239 12

Comments

wendybirdtrylle 25

I'd make sure to send a reply (cc'd to everyone) that said something along the lines of: I'm sorry for calling you cute, I'll make sure I'll never do it again. That way if anyone thought you said something pervy they'll know the truth

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BFlowing 21

I can't believe the amount of people saying she should learn to take a compliment. You do know that's the same mentality of catcallers right? If you offend someone or make them feel uncomfortable you don't get to decide that you didn't, regardless of your relationship with them, regardless of what you said. If I had been her I wouldn't have cc'd the whole office (and that's the FYL part of this), but for the rest she had every right to tell you she didn't like that comment. (I'm not angry at you OP, I'm sure you just wanted to be nice to her, but you have to consider that comments on a person's looks are very personal and one might not want them)

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Rabite 28

My first association were also catcallers and the people not understanding how even a "Smile!" is making someone uncomfortable. Having this stuff at your workplace is even worse. So thanks for the little faith in humanity.

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barksdalescott 11

Welcome to the working world. Those comments are not appropriate between coworkers unless you've explicitly been told they are by the recipient, or unless you're in a relationship. Never assume that is okay.

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Elgrin 15

This is why I don't give people compliments. Shit like this right here.

3 1
Bismuth92 11

At first read it does seem like she went way overboard. There was no need to cc the whole office. But since we only have OPs side of the story, and not hers, I have to wonder whether this was part of a pattern, and not just a one-off comment. Did OP regularly make comments about her appearance or look her up and down? Did she react negatively to those things in the past, but he just didn't get the message that it was unwanted? Had she talked to HR and been shrugged off, as can often be the case. Her actions speak to me of a woman making a last ditch effort to get a creep to back off, not a crazy bitch overreacting to a one time innapropriate compliment.

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Rabite 28

Wow, there are way too many comments which blame the co-worker for being over sensitive in general. Thanks to all the people here who have enough skills to understand what harassment is. People who have to deal with this shit need people like you, because most of the time harassed people even get more shit when they complain about it.

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Beaker Bunson 2

It's work. People care more about the work they produce than how they look. If you really want to compliment people at work find a way to say something good about what they are doing rather than how they look. We have friends and family to compliment us, co-workers are co-workers unless a friendship is initiated somewhere along the way.

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