Intimacy, Sex and Cheating: Best thing to do

Best thing to do

By Jerry - 04/01/2021 10:58

Today, I walked in on my wife and my buddy from work. They didn’t even stop. I just went to a motel to get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 692

You deserved it 184

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Same thing different taste

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 196

You deserved it 4 579

What's up, bro?

By WhatAMess - 06/11/2022 18:00

Today, I walked in on my wife bouncing up and down on my brother’s lap. She proceeded to throw a tantrum, crying that it was “my fault” for coming home unannounced and ruining everything. She then stormed off into our room. My brother just sheepishly pulled his pants up and left our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 878

You deserved it 170

By nekkiddrunk - 14/01/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 894

You deserved it 40 583

By furious at five in the morning - 02/07/2012 12:36 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 377

You deserved it 4 111

Mixology

By fml9124 - 22/10/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, my wife is out of town on business. So I got drunk. Really drunk. Felt like swimming around midnight (we live in Arizona). Jumped in the pool… and forget how to swim. Too uncoordinated, I almost drowned. Then I threw up in the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 2 457

By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 102

You deserved it 5 315

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 563

You deserved it 67 628

Caught in 4K

By Frank S. - 17/06/2021 19:59

Today, I was about to enter a hotel with a friend-with-benefits. We then saw her boyfriend exiting the same hotel with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 1 884

And I oop

By not drunk - 21/07/2020 08:01

Today, I was at a restaurant. I turned around looking for the restroom. I almost walked into the men’s room, then corrected myself and stumbled in the hallway looking for the ladies’. The employees thought I was drunk and kicked me out. I hadn’t had a single drink. I’m just clumsy as shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 488

You deserved it 243

Classic

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 00:00

Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 1 397

Chazzster 28

Monday 4 January 2021 18:30

The magic word is “divorce”. Do it.

FireS Pitt In kitten 2

Monday 4 January 2021 20:46

we need a follow-up. did u whoop his ass? did u cuss her ass out? what happened?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 4 January 2021 12:38

How rude! They didn't even ask you to join in for a threesome? People these days!

Chazzster 28

Monday 4 January 2021 18:30

The magic word is “divorce”. Do it.

coius 23

Monday 4 January 2021 19:22

Get evidence so he can screw her back in court like she screwed him in front of his face.

FireS Pitt In kitten 2

Monday 4 January 2021 20:46

we need a follow-up. did u whoop his ass? did u cuss her ass out? what happened?

Seth Dickson 3

Monday 4 January 2021 23:23

You just allowed that? Speak up for yourself! Go to court, sell the house and move on

OrySoma 11

Tuesday 5 January 2021 5:08

that's so pathetic that i can't even feel bad for you

ghostinflames 13

Tuesday 5 January 2021 8:37

Better go to the DMV and divorce her name from the car titles too.

Magnit0 9

Saturday 16 January 2021 18:04

they didn't even bother to stop for you and you didn't disappoint them and left peaceful.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I've had a crush on a guy for a while - a friend of mine knows this. I finally decided to find out once and for all if there was any chance with him, so I drove to his house, armed with a home cooked meal and wine, only to find the very friend I confided in was at his house. It turns out they are now an item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 152

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 231

You deserved it 37 866

The Top

Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 107

Today, my credit card got declined while I was buying anti-depressants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 204

You deserved it 332

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 633

You deserved it 36 882

Today, I performed in a rendition of Jesus Christ Superstar at my school. When it came time for my big solo, a whopping two lines, I forgot the words, making for an awkward eight seconds of silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 640

You deserved it 9 720

Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 487

You deserved it 20 170

Today, my kids found out how to control my Google alarm clock with their phones. While I was gone, they set it to play screamo metal at max volume, then paused it. Sometime after midnight, as I was sleeping, they pressed play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 200