Weird, Farts and Nature: Basic communication

Basic communication

By Tim - 16/06/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 007

You deserved it 6 014

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Same thing different taste

Better out than in

By flying13 - 03/11/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 515

You deserved it 13 273

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 756

You deserved it 6 674

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 609

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 563

You deserved it 129

He who smelled it…

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 15:08 - United States - Venus

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 049

You deserved it 2 706

Stealth dog

By Anonymous - 02/06/2020 02:00

Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 226

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 11 915

By Brendan - 19/02/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 967

You deserved it 4 144

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 95

By JJAnd - 28/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 272

You deserved it 48 057

DaGirlz 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:04

Sounds like a pleasant man.

NoMercy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:07

I fart in your general direction

Comments

_cherry_blossom_ 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:31

lmao. i would've been so pissed and confused all at the same time. are you sure you weren't on one of those prank shows orr w/e they're called?

polyurethane 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:33

That's hilarious.

Glazed 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:36

Man that stinks sorry

cough 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:43

lol pwned

darkmis1 17

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:49

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww! I would've cursed him out till he was out of earshot. That's just flat out gross, nasty, and rude.

Lucky19 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:49

Sounds like he was having a big joke. Its the kind of thing schoolkids get dared to do (Still, I chuckled a little). FYL

fallenarchangel 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:49

LOL that was funny

greenrapsody 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:51

that's not an FML!!! that's a great man and a great story to tell your friends!

outlast 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:52

rofl random farts

leahhhhh 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:53

win!

Keywords

Management Work Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Money Birthday Family Mother in law Gifts Public freakouts Parents Education Exams Students Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

The Top

Today, I was supposed to be working from home. Instead, I ended up taking the kids out to the park for the morning, because my wife “couldn’t even” today. When we got home, she had demolished two bottles of wine, and was masturbating to a home improvement show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 982

You deserved it 312

Today, it was my second day of house-sitting. I was so out of my mind from not seeing people that I invited a bunch of friends over for dinner. I said I would pay for pizza and we could all hang out in the house. Even with an unsupervised house and free food, no one showed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 396

The Top

Today, my dad caught me vaping. From the volume of his yelling, you’d think he caught me sniffing cocaine out of a prostitute's ass crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 1 173

Today, I had a meeting with my girlfriend, who I live with and work with but on different teams. Both our teams got laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 933

You deserved it 140

Today, my cousin died of a very treatable illness. She was pressured into herbal and holistic "faith healing" instead of seeking "poisonous western filth". Her husband, church and family all seem to think she made the right choice. I’ve been shunned for disagreeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 89

Today, my need for medication that increases bruising collided with my need for major oral surgery. I look like a chipmunk who lost a fight. Just in time for Mother’s Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 58

Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 395

You deserved it 4 636

Today, my husband gave me an ultimatum - choose him or my male best friend. I chose my husband. My husband then admitted to me that he was hoping I would choose my best friend so he would have an excuse to leave me and wouldn't have to tell me he's been cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 894

You deserved it 4 528

Same thing different taste

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