Intimacy, Gross, Plumbing and Wanker: Art installation

Art installation

By Anonymous - 03/11/2023 03:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I discovered that if you cum down the sink every day for a year, it doesn't just wash away, it makes a gooey, half-cooked semen-baby that your dad has to pull out of the pipe when it gets clogged up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 614

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By cole66 - 29/11/2015 18:43 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 549

You deserved it 3 162

By Getthelysol - 10/10/2018 05:00

Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 1 522

By fugachumi - 07/08/2011 08:08 - United States

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 833

You deserved it 3 513

Rookie mistake

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 18:00

Today, I had to pay an exorbitant fee to get my drain unblocked. It turns out it was about a million condoms. My son just got his first serious girlfriend and apparently instead of throwing them in the bin, he flushes their used condoms down the toilet. I’m gonna kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 572

You deserved it 231

By cumhole - 10/10/2012 02:32 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 547

You deserved it 69 832

Never going to live this down

By Anonymous - 01/09/2023 10:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I went up to take a shower. I typically go to the bathroom first, I take a mega dump, then flush the toilet. Not only wouldn't the toilet flush but I found out my parents only keep one plunger on hand. It was in the downstairs bathroom. My dad came upstairs and plunged the toilet while I stood there naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 249

Backfire

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 173

You deserved it 54 736

By MyS3lf - 19/04/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 121

You deserved it 3 326

By green and not with envy - 13/06/2014 20:17 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 5 797

Can't be unseen

By my poor eyes - 15/02/2021 16:01 - United States - Danville

Today, I found out the hard way that my 74-year-old dad sometimes wakes up early and washes dishes. Sounds great, except sometimes he likes to do so with nothing on from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 91

Anderling 32

Friday 3 November 2023 9:25

I have many questions but I don't think I want to know the answer to any of them.

easybree 9

Friday 3 November 2023 21:30

who cums in the sink??? when you have a perfectly good toilet right there

Comments

Anderling 32

Friday 3 November 2023 9:25

I have many questions but I don't think I want to know the answer to any of them.

easybree 9

Friday 3 November 2023 21:30

who cums in the sink??? when you have a perfectly good toilet right there

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Relatable Students Work Sleep Noise Animals Birds Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Teenagers Friends Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Revenge Food Cats

The Top

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 077

You deserved it 18 229

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 609

You deserved it 5 760

The Top

Today, I'm supposed to be starting on the first part of a 9 hour road trip. My only coworker called in sick, so instead I had to go into work. One hour there, one hour back, and a 9-to-5 day. This would have been my first holiday in 7 years. After getting to work, I realised I'd forgotten my work keys in my other clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 125

Today, I received the good news that my spine looks normal. Either the degenerative disc that was diagnosed 5 years prior magically healed, or my current doctor is an idiot. Considering that it's felt like someone is chiseling into my spine for some days, I'm leaning toward the latter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 457

You deserved it 583

Today, I forgot to take my phone out of my bathing suit pocket before I went into the pool. It's not a high-end phone, so that's not why FML. The FML part is because I was on vacation, didn't have internet access, and the phone has no external memory card, so all the pictures I took while on vacation are lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 487

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 132

You deserved it 4 213

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 038

You deserved it 102 888

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 960

You deserved it 2 804