Intimacy: Are you experienced?

Are you experienced?

By Brax - 30/05/2012 09:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 247

You deserved it 9 418

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Same thing different taste

Girls will be girls

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 735

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 607

You deserved it 90 939

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 377

You deserved it 746

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 036

You deserved it 3 908

By noweddingforyou - 29/09/2013 19:21 - Canada - Guelph

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 407

You deserved it 7 646

By Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 564

You deserved it 12 434

Disproportionate response

By Anonymous - 09/09/2023 04:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me to lick her ass. I obliged, only for her to rip a rancid fart directly on my tongue. Its been two hours and I'm still nauseous. Apparently, this was revenge for my "badgering her" for anal sex. I'd mentioned that butt play is one of my kinks, and dropped it when she wasn't interested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 03:33 - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 387

You deserved it 4 615

By Surprisebuttsecks? - 07/12/2011 04:39 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 279

You deserved it 7 398

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 1 406

KingCeltic77 18

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:12

That's really shitty.

kickuwithmyfist 1

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:12

Well.. you did get a hand job..so that's a plus!=D

Comments

onorexveritas 23

Wednesday 4 July 2012 8:29

now you know how some girls feel

SmackinSluts 1

Friday 13 July 2012 10:21

A guy's G-spot is in their asshole.

angel5242 0

Wednesday 18 July 2012 18:42

Ooh sexy

trivel64 16

Thursday 27 September 2012 2:58

28 The nun picture just goes along with this wonderfully

jessicadavis374 6

Saturday 6 October 2012 14:46

At least we know you're open for trying new things! That is awesome!

kennaem1 11

Friday 19 October 2012 2:14

Maybe next time you'll remember this when you ask for anal

queeennnale 18

Monday 29 October 2012 3:47

Lmao omg

bobak_can_ani 7

Monday 8 July 2013 2:25

Somebody has to stop those women's magazines from publishing stupid sexual advice. My wife did this in our honeymoon and gave me a fissure. Every dump I took was a torture and bloodbath for 3 years.