Intimacy: Are you experienced?

Are you experienced?

By Brax - 30/05/2012 09:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 247

You deserved it 9 418

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Same thing different taste

Girls will be girls

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 735

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 607

You deserved it 90 940

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 377

You deserved it 746

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 036

You deserved it 3 908

By noweddingforyou - 29/09/2013 19:21 - Canada - Guelph

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 407

You deserved it 7 646

By Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 564

You deserved it 12 434

Disproportionate response

By Anonymous - 09/09/2023 04:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me to lick her ass. I obliged, only for her to rip a rancid fart directly on my tongue. Its been two hours and I'm still nauseous. Apparently, this was revenge for my "badgering her" for anal sex. I'd mentioned that butt play is one of my kinks, and dropped it when she wasn't interested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 03:33 - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 387

You deserved it 4 615

By Surprisebuttsecks? - 07/12/2011 04:39 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 279

You deserved it 7 398

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 1 406

KingCeltic77 18

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:12

That's really shitty.

kickuwithmyfist 1

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:12

Well.. you did get a hand job..so that's a plus!=D

Comments

weepingangel_fml 7

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:14

How... romantic... O_o

immaMonsta 8

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:17

Ugh. I don't understand how some people can be turned on by that, but I guess everyone is different. You get an A for effort for giving it a try though.

FailBear920 19

Sunday 30 June 2013 10:12

He didn't even want to try in the first place!

GreenAppleDP 0

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:17

Maybe she really thought you would like it? there are some guys that do actually like that.

nitemastr15 17

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:29

And usually those are the guys that take dick up their ass too. Not that I have anything against gays.

waddell10 0

Monday 11 June 2012 17:36

Gay ones.....

hqbrat 8

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:17

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Aspen_Grace33 27

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:17

I know a lot of people get off on that kind of thing, but it just seems so wrong! Hopefully you told her you didn't like it so she will refrain from doing it next time.

hqbrat 8

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:19

Tell her guys are not like girls. Because based on this you certainly didn't get pleaser

hqbrat 8

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:20

What the heck now it shows me my comment twice!?!!?!?

insane451 4

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:19

Don't be such a prude, if you relax it can feel good and make you cum a lot more by stimulating the prostate

NoReservations 9

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:22

Well, if she claims it feels so good for a finger to be there I bet she likes anal.. So that is now attainable. I'm glad my boyfriend thinks that's gross. *Shudder*

vcapelo 19

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:35

Your boyfriend is lying!

tjgarrick 8

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:40

He definitely wants it

NoReservations 9

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:44

If he tells me he wants it I'm going to tell him he's lying, and trying to be too mainstream. Or I can just say no, either way it isn't going to happen. Who would want their joystick there anyway?

Sinkhole 26

Wednesday 30 May 2012 16:58

Maybe someone with no reservations?

NoReservations 9

Wednesday 30 May 2012 17:05

That one was actually good. But whether I get thumbed down or not, I don't like the idea of it. That's not what its for at all. The tears that occur during that can lead to serious problems. If I say no, it means no. Everyone has a right to control what doesn't happen in their sex life.