Intimacy, Sex, Relatable and Awkward: Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks - FML

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Anonymous - 24/12/2021 05:01

Spicy

Today, I had to have the awkward conversation with my wife of 20-plus years that the reason I’ve lost interest in sex is because our sex life has been mind numbingly boring for at least 15 of those years, always the same positions, never wanting to try anything new, just so boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 1 405

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Stuck in a rut

By Anonymous - 16/04/2020 20:00

Spicy

Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 064

You deserved it 314

By beaverless - 02/05/2011 20:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 526

You deserved it 17 576

Permission granted and rejected

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 106

By tigger2013 - 03/08/2013 04:01 - Australia - Cheltenham

Spicy

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 864

You deserved it 5 676

Like glue

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 10:01

Spicy

Today, it's been almost 3 years since my wife has wanted sex, and I get turned down every time I ask. Even when I insist on a romantic date night, we just sit with no idea what to say to each other. How did we drift so far apart? The only thing keeping us together is the mortgage and the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 233

Ace of Spades

By Simon Edhouse - 13/09/2021 09:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 241

Hang ups

By at least put on sexy underwear - 01/09/2023 20:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 112

Love Story

By Anonymous - 16/12/2021 19:59

Spicy

Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 1 785

Take care

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Spicy

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 489

You deserved it 116

Perfect

By Julian - 05/05/2021 02:01

Spicy

Today, according to my wife, our life together is perfect. The only problem is that I no longer turn her on, haven’t for a while, so she wants my permission to have meaningless one-night stands with strangers on Tinder while carrying on with our perfect, sexless married life together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 054

You deserved it 187

Next

Top comments

randybryant799 20

Friday 24 December 2021 6:29

Why would you wait 15 years to say something??

Jonkbaby 22

Friday 24 December 2021 11:29

It takes two to tango my friend

Comments

randybryant799 20

Friday 24 December 2021 6:29

Why would you wait 15 years to say something??

1known 30

Friday 24 December 2021 17:46

If she doesn’t want new things, one can say he said something before.

Jonkbaby 22

Friday 24 December 2021 11:29

It takes two to tango my friend

1known 30

Friday 24 December 2021 17:45

Well it seems he proposed new things, but it wasn’t accepted.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 24 December 2021 15:48

No, just stick with the boring routine forever. If you have new ideas, your wife will think you learned them from cheating or watching ****.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 708

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 408

You deserved it 8 930

The Top

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 729

You deserved it 10 766

Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 679

You deserved it 5 271

Today, I lost my phone during a hike up Mount Washington. Luckily, it was reported to the office, and they called my wife. Too bad we had already been driving for at least four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 489

You deserved it 284

Today, I was at work and caught my pants on the corner of the door hinge. They tore completely open and my hairy cheek was exposed for the whole office to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 400

You deserved it 2 155

Today, I got a call from my brother-in-law's doctor. Apparently he's made threats and fantasizes about killing me. "Notifying you is the protocol for things like this" he said, and ended the conversation with, "have a nice day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 973

You deserved it 269

Today, my mother wore a see through shirt. She wasn't wearing a bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 561

You deserved it 5 209