Alexa, **** off - FML

Alexa, **** off

By GoogleOFF - 07/07/2020 08:08

Today, my Google Home decided the TV told it to play 'Despacito'. It didn't. Google then decided I wasn't yelling at it to turn it off. I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 350

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

Hi mom!

By jonnie - 07/05/2020 02:00

Today, I learned Google Assistant and Google Home work harmoniously together if I blabber on without ending a command, like when sending a text to my mom about canceling dinner plans because I’m fake sick and going to hook up with this guy, it’ll send every word. My mistake & lesson learned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 2 169

Spooky Season

By Vladislav - 20/10/2021 11:00

Today, my best friend and I watched the "OK Google" horror short film. It's about a ghost that controls a Google Home device. Right after the short ended, my Google Nest Mini came off the wall and stopped reacting. Neither of us was near it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 155

Just a prank, bro

By Anonymous - 09/05/2021 19:59 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my kids found out how to control my Google alarm clock with their phones. While I was gone, they set it to play screamo metal at max volume, then paused it. Sometime after midnight, as I was sleeping, they pressed play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 200

Pull the plug

By Loud - 11/01/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, I tried to turn my TV up. Unfortunately, the volume button got stuck, so it ended up turning all the way up to the max while I was listening to an already very loud song. If my neighbors didn't know I listen to a lot of blues rock, they do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 226

By Nomoresandwish - 29/11/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 202

You deserved it 13 444

Wakey wakey

By gumbymn - 17/03/2021 00:30

Today, I asked Alexa to turn on my baby's white noise machine. Instead, she started playing Pharrell Williams's "Happy" while the baby was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 373

By motherfucked - 15/01/2016 17:07 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I tried to send my friend a link to a really weird porno. Unfortunately, Google Hangouts popped up with a message from my mom. I didn't realize the keyboard focus had switched until I hit Ctrl+V and Enter real quick. Now I'm grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 697

You deserved it 21 182

I just love to rant

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 12:00 - United States - Verona

Today, my mother went on another rant about the Smart TV not working. Instead of turning it off and on like she's been told to do before, she'll sit and complain about it. Even fixing it for her doesn't stop her complaining for another half-hour about technology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 102

By Howdoiwatchpoliticsnow - 29/05/2016 20:06 - United States - Newton

Today, I tried to get my son off of the couch by turning off the wifi. Afterward, I went to watch tv. Turns out he got me back by turning off the cable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 942

You deserved it 6 532

Working from home, the pros and cons

By Anonymous - 01/09/2023 08:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I was WFH on a video call with my team when my toddler barged into the room. As I tried to calmly guide her out, she managed to turn my Bluetooth speaker on, which started blasting "Baby Shark" to my entire team. They now have a new nickname for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 175

Next

Top comments

bloopaloop 27

Tuesday 7 July 2020 15:23

Hello Dave. There are hot singles in your area. You WILL like them.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 7 July 2020 13:21

And Google Home will decide that you need to hear the ******' Justin Bieber monstrosity of a version of that song, and you will like it. Google Home requires that you like it. It's not good enough to say you like it. Google Home will play it until it decides you actually like it.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 7 July 2020 13:21

And Google Home will decide that you need to hear the ******' Justin Bieber monstrosity of a version of that song, and you will like it. Google Home requires that you like it. It's not good enough to say you like it. Google Home will play it until it decides you actually like it.

bloopaloop 27

Tuesday 7 July 2020 15:23

Hello Dave. There are hot singles in your area. You WILL like them.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 8 July 2020 0:09

It's either: No, HAL, they're all fat and smell of onions. Or, "Dave? Dave's not here!"

kfchicken 31

Wednesday 8 July 2020 5:56

I hope you weren't yelling Google off like your name suggests

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The Top

Today, I found out that if you put tea bags into a cup of hot water, the tea bags will melt. The result: You get to drink and chew tea leaves at the same time, with little bits of actual tea to help make them go down. 0/10, do not recommend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 422

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 95

The Top

Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 820

You deserved it 4 193

Today, my boyfriend talked me into wearing vibrating underwear in public and of course we bumped into my mom shopping, and of course he chose that moment to turn them on with the remote. The vibrating was way louder than we were expecting, and my mom just walked away shaking her head at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 2 433

Today, I work for the local fire department. I had a long call and I was hot and sweaty. I decided to skinny dip in my pool because it was still dark out. Everything went great untill my flood light went on and my dad ran out with a bat. I got smacked in the side with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 931

You deserved it 6 543

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 155

You deserved it 5 476

Today, my little brother left the house with my phone by accident. He called from his school to ask for my password so he could access his email. When he got home and gave me my phone back, while closing the open apps, my photo gallery was open. When I clicked on it, my naked selfie was open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 651

Today, I came to work with a huge hangover after a night out. I work as a marching band director, and guess who I had to conduct a sectional with? That's right, percussion. My head still hasn't stopped throbbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 758

You deserved it 28 612