Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Same thing different taste
Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML
HUMAN! I NEED ATTENTION!
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML
Welcome to the family!
Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML
Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML
Classic kitten move
Today, I thought my new kitten had gotten out, so I roamed the streets in the pouring rain, screaming his name for hours. Eventually, my fiance called and said he was home from work. I cried that the cat was gone, and he said, "What do you mean? He's on my lap." FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
Today, I am two months pregnant. Being super hormonal, I was crying about how much I was crying. My husband put his arms around me to comfort me, and I sobbed so hard that I threw up all over him. FML
Top comments
184886837272837 32
Don't worry, I'm sure the cat didn't take it to personally.
SgtAssCheeks 21
Atleast it wasn't wheezing and plotting to kill you. Oh wait, cats do always plot to kill you.
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Comments (87)
electrorange 13
Hope it's not a sequal to Rosemary's Baby!
184886837272837 32
Don't worry, I'm sure the cat didn't take it to personally.
Rizzen 27
Too*
184886837272837 32
Shit thanks #17. That's embarrassing because I was explaining the difference to someone last night.
cryssycakesx3 22
maybe she can just fall on it, squish it, and listen to her cat wheeze trying to breathe...
mcm_3 16
#43, Hateful. Very hateful.
domolovesyoshi 33
I got that reference
MomentoMori 23
Are you okay mentally? ...
casual_commenter 9
You know they say serial killers usually start out by torturing and killing animals...
jkmartinjk 16
^^/You/ know that she was clearly referencing a previous FML...
CloudBustah 20
#19 was it wheezing and not looking at OP too?
MomentoMori 23
The cat still loves you. Don't take it to heart. Congratulations on your pregnancy! Best of luck to you! :)
CerSpence 11
Yeah, you really are a lot better off than most. My mom would scream about how our carpets looked more yellow than usual when she was pregnant with my brother. Congrats on the baby OP.
dawsonstar 15
Please control your whoremones.
Mynamewontfi 40
Hey, don't blame her for her hormones, same way I don't blame you for being an idiot.
MomentoMori 23
Dude, she's pregnant. Quit being an ignorant prick.
blcksocks 19
I hope it is not plotting your death now
Haileyed 12
Cats hate us anyway, no harm done :)
bretzeller 13
My cat loves me. :'(
xerbrus 14
So you think 48
Hiimhaileypotter 52
I love cats. I stay on their good side so that when they take over the world, I get to rise to the top with them. ;)
warsun 27
How could you betray us for cats D:
SgtAssCheeks 21
Atleast it wasn't wheezing and plotting to kill you. Oh wait, cats do always plot to kill you.
mcm_3 16
Judging by your profile pic, you would know that well
TheDrifter 23
Not all cats want people dead. Some see the benefit in keeping the bowl filler around.
ZY1431 24
congrats on the little one. and don't worry im sure the cat is just fine.
mangoboy1 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You don't choose the pregnancy life. The pregnancy life chooses you....except you kinda do choose pregnancy.
SgtAssCheeks 21
#9 You uhh.... you gonna be alright?
MomentoMori 23
Uhm..alright? Lol
Lil_Red777 21
lmao I was on birth control when I got pregnant, trust me you don't always choose it!
amphetamin3 17
If you have sex, you choose the pregnancy life. You can try and prevent it, but there's always a chance it could still happen!
cryssycakesx3 22
God this phrase can go with: "that escalated quickly" "XYZ much?" "it is what it is" "shitty situation" & "you like it I love it." and the word "hater"
cryssycakesx3 22
and for the hell of it, all this"cats hate you." nonsense.
TheMathMajor 26
Having sex is not choosing pregnancy, goodness. That's a pretty ignorant thing to say.
JenRae93 13
#57, They weren't saying it was choosing pregnancy...they said it was choosing the pregnancy life, as in if you're having sex there's always that off chance that it could still happen even if you're trying to prevent it...
amphetamin3 17
Thanks for trying to clear that up #65. It's not ignorance. All I'm saying is...if you do the dirty, even if you take precautions, there's still a *chance* you might end up with a mini-you. If you think condoms, birth control, or even getting your tubes tied, is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy... then you are sadly mistaken.
TheMathMajor 26
I understand what you were saying about a chance of pregnancy even while using precautions, and I'm well aware of that. I personally double up on condoms and the pill to help prevent pregnancy if one fails. My issue was with your wording I guess. You said "if you have sex, you choose the pregnancy life" which is pretty clearly not true and suggests that women deserve unwanted pregnancies simply because they are sexually active. It's kind of a negative message. Sorry if that's not what you were implying.
Irishopoly19 9
What exactly do you mean by doubling up on condoms? Do you mean you literally put two condoms on before sex?
Hiimhaileypotter 52
#73, I think #70 meant that they use both condoms and birth control, therefore "doubling up"; not using two condoms.
amphetamin3 17
I get what you're saying, mathmajor... take my statement however you want to. This is the internet, everyone is going to see things differently anyway. No sense in getting upset over something some random girl says. (:
AUShano 15
This should be a First World Problems meme: I cried for an hour today, because the cat wouldn't quit staring at me creepily #FirstWorldProblems The good ole joys of beginning motherhood