Cats > People

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Craftsbury

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I could talk to them throughout the day." Then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 766
You deserved it 13 954

Top comments

You mean that I read about on FML yesterday? You're the one who needed the intervention? How did that work out for you? I hope it didn't leave you catatonic.

perdix 29

Why don't you set up a web cam at home and have Skype Chats with them? In French, that would have been a great pun, zut alors!

Comments

You mean that I read about on FML yesterday? You're the one who needed the intervention? How did that work out for you? I hope it didn't leave you catatonic.

Seems like she REALLY needs one right meow!

coolboy675 16

It probably turned out to be catastrophic.

CheeseTron 15

IM CONTRACTING MY FINGER MUSCLES IN ORDER TO TYPE THIS. Whoa. Sorry guys I think I just had a Pleogasm.

Purrhaps we've crossed fe line with all these puns...

This is a purrty cool string of comments! Beclaws I'm feline a little catty, I'll keep my comment short, but I know some of you will say the cat got my tongue! ...Well, I tried, but this comment certainly isn't the cat's meow! ... Ok, seriously, I'll stop now.

You're not lion. I'm not feline the cat puns. They are getting out of control meow.

I don't think it was about the intervention. ..I think it was about the lady who left the air conditioner on for the cats while at work, clocking up the electricity bill.

More cat puns! YOU GOT TO BE KITTEN ME!...

theninja1800 11

Lots of cat posts recently...

It's the Internet, silly! Everyone here worships cats!

All the internet is just pictures of cats and ****.

#26 - I really hope you meant "or" and not "and." ...ugh, who am I kidding? This is the Internet. You probably did mean "and."

Cats? Pffft. I, for one, worship pugs. ...Please stop staring at the oversized, thick-rimmed glasses on my face.

perdix 29

Why don't you set up a web cam at home and have Skype Chats with them? In French, that would have been a great pun, zut alors!

dontpanic_fml 32

*sings*...in French, chat, chapeau....

She's on a web cam with her pussy...cats.

I've made it my new mission to thumb down any "pussy" related comments. Yours happens to be first. Congratulations.

I shall thumb them up just to spite you, meow.

And I will thumb it back down just to spite those who do things purely out of spite.

perdix 29

#27, but mine isn't. Not this time. Often I make the "pussy" joke, but "chats" is simply the French word for "cats." Your mission is off to a bad start.

dontpanic_fml 32

I don't think he was talking to you...

SmallyBigs 9

Reminds me of Angelina from The Office.

RpiesSPIES 27

Angela*... Sorry. I'll leave, now.

To me OP reminds me of Jillian from Workaholics and of course the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons

SmallyBigs 9

It's been awhile since I watched it. Should have remembered :(

Don't worry, I wish the same thing. I bet I could have more intelligent conversations with my cat than I could with most humans.

Well you're not alone. My mum is so completely in love with her two cats that she had an actual fit lasting 4 days when I told her I couldn't work out a video system for her to see the cats through when she's away from home.

Jacksparrow72 21

Two FMLs in as many days?! That's awesome. I guess the cat intervention failed.

I could only imagine how that conversation would go. "Hey, whatcha up to?" "Hey! Not much, just finished licking myself and coughing up a hairball." What a wonderful text that would be.

At least I would know what to expect upon returning home: 'Whoa.. Just killed a hugeee rat. He's really big, I dragged him inside for you to see. Just dropped some of his organs on the floor, hope you don't mind!'

perdix 29

You can train cats to text. You'll just have to add another line to your service plan. Shop around for the best Feline Line Fee.

How many did you have op and were you able to keep one