Awkwaaaaaaard

By Zoe Avila - 09/08/2011 22:55 - United States

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 886
You deserved it 9 078

Same thing different taste

Top comments

You got to teach your husband what bathroom is there for.

Comments

andy_l 14

You kinda have to get a dog now.

So do you bring plastic bags when you go out with him

I don't know about you, but, have you considered retraining?

The husband must've eaten something spicy if he was pooping on the fire escape . .

YourEvilHero 12

I would have told her I don't have a dog and said I have no clue how you got shit on your groceries

Or he just really doesn't like the neighbor :P

Jennyboo5797 4

Break out the trusty ol' newspaper and beat his ass for pooping in the wrong place! ;)

Ali_Br_fml 33

Lolz @ 60 or lay the newspaper down on the fire escape so he can use it. You need to start walking your husband so he will stop having "accidents" in neighbors' groceries... People can't leave groceries on fire escapes without animals crapping in them...(sarcasm) If someone stole them whose fault would it be? It's the neighbor's fault. What if it started raining??? Wet groceries? Don't leave groceries outside.

TheRealHouse 7

This takes telling someone to "eat shit" to a whole new level

Pixxio_O 11

Now the government has to pay for "husband poo" bins in parks...

that's embarassing...I guess I was a little drunk.

Or just wait until he does it again, then push him off.

kdawg360 0

****** up dude All that is ridiculous Keep your husband on a leash Ewwwwww

Wait till they find out you don't have a dog.

You got to teach your husband what bathroom is there for.

BIEBERSLAYER 10

Smack him with a newspaper and rub his face in it next time

iJeremyTyler 0

OP: She's coming! Husband: Got it! OP: 3, 2, 1, bombs away! Neighbor:... WTF?

OP, why you married to this barbaric moron?

This is why someone decided to create bathrooms...

Maybe you should have put that money towards getting another bathroom so you don't have to shit in the fire escape

Yeah, first behind a dumpster and now on the fire escape? What's wrong with your bathroom?

StopDropNRoll 11
THEKAISER 4

Lol for awhile i thought i was the only one who does that

preetaleet 9

Someone needs to go back to potty training school

She did, she now has a diploma hanging in her bathroom and a little statue of a toilet

preetaleet 9

Yes,Yes I do have a potty diploma.

alex6946 10

So your husband just crapped on the fire escape? lol that's strange

BiGD3317 0

honey why didn't you tell me we had snickers. Snickers?? that's doo doo baby!