About Whatadaydanny
I decapitate frogs.
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Whatadaydanny's FML badges
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  • Work is a 4-letter word

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  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

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  • 100 kick-ass comments

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  • One more and it's business time

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Whatadaydanny's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

By Anonymous / Tuesday 30 October 2012 00:39 / United States

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

By Squid - / Wednesday 7 November 2012 05:11 / Australia - Hornsby

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

By fnfantastic / Sunday 4 November 2012 16:37 / United States - Warsaw

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

By kat - / Wednesday 31 October 2012 11:30 / United States - Ocala

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

By Medic / Monday 29 October 2012 03:10 / United States - Puyallup