aql342

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Aql342's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

One more and it's business time

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Aql342's favorite FMLs

By offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 267 632

You deserved it 90 956

Dumbass

By O-|---<=~ - 18/10/2013 23:01 - United States - Bellingham

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 961

You deserved it 5 686

Thank you for your service

By Pooper scooper - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Guam - Yigo

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 154

You deserved it 5 799

By ItsAnanya - 02/04/2013 15:34 - India - New Delhi

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 038

You deserved it 3 226

ItsAnanya tells us more.

ItsAnanya 25

Tuesday 2 April 2013 19:49

Hey guys! It's OP :] So most of you were confused as to why she would hit me for calling my uncle...uncle. She thought I was insulting him and making him feel old and by extension implying that SHE was old. She also blamed it on the fact that it seemed as I was trying to hit on him ? ( I'm still confused about that one ) Thank heavens my uncle puts family first. Miss.Pack-A-Punch is out of our lives for good !

I have sex

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 17:58 - United States - Athens

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 561

You deserved it 16 314