About Alaskanraccoon
Message me anytime you want and I'll reply haha
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Alaskanraccoon's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 2 April 2009 05:13 / United States

Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 15 June 2013 04:28 / Canada - Calgary

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

By lsababy - / Tuesday 11 June 2013 18:46 / United States - Muskegon

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 27 May 2013 00:21 / United States - Matteson

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

By lifsabtch - / Sunday 6 January 2013 17:24 /