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  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
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  • I agree, my mouse works.

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  • YDI Master

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  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

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    33%
  • One more and it's business time

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Zombie_king98's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML

By gorgeousrenthead - / Monday 10 August 2009 23:41 / United States

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

By MissYouPieceOfSkin - / Wednesday 27 November 2013 08:44 / United States - Kirkland

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 19 August 2013 03:56 / United States - Saint Joseph

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

By ilivealoneandwhatthefuck - / Sunday 23 June 2013 17:02 / Guam - Yigo

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 3 May 2013 00:50 / United States - Acworth