Miss Single
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
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