immacryingmonkey

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27 years-old
Friday 30 January 1998
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Immacryingmonkey's favorite FMLs

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 4 513

vote type 1 818

What am I doing with my life?

By KasSmoke - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Justin

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

agreeclassic 25 441

vote type 1 38 399

By Anonymous - 10/09/2014 03:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

agreeclassic 47 636

vote type 1 14 103