MidnightRain33

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About Midnightrain33

I come here for the lulz.

Sarah!

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Midnightrain33's favorite FMLs

By BabeWithBrains - 08/12/2013 19:01 - United States - Cheyenne

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 672

You deserved it 5 931

BabeWithBrains tells us more.

BabeWithBrains 7

Monday 9 December 2013 3:28

Wow, I didn't think I would get published. Let me clear some things up:) -My boyfriend and my brother-in-law are best friends and bought onesies together. They have been wearing them all night and day. They are a bit crazy, but fun. -My boy works outside in snow, so that's why he wore it to work. -It's also below zero where I live so it's cold at night, hence the bed wearing. -The sex however... Well, there is basically a slit in the back and buttons in the front. He thought it was hilarious, but it won't be happening again. I guess it's just something that he wanted to try and I love him so I did it. Oh, and it doesn't smell.. Yet. ;)

By Anonymous - 08/12/2013 20:39 - United States

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 055

You deserved it 5 795

By Anonymous - 10/12/2013 21:06 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 135

You deserved it 11 040

Sick

By spastic hardon - 12/12/2013 21:01 - Australia - Templestowe

Today, I misplaced my phone at small house party. I found it later, but not before being called a sick bastard by my crush. It seems one of my "friends" sent her a cock pic with my phone, and now she wants nothing to do with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 102

You deserved it 5 383

Pixels

By back to creepers - 21/12/2013 20:05 - United Kingdom - Worcester

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 576

You deserved it 6 518

By Anonymous - 21/12/2013 23:29 - United States - Ypsilanti

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 915

You deserved it 12 251

MY EYES

By bleach bleach bleach - 22/12/2013 17:22 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 922

You deserved it 7 769

By MERRY FUCKMYARSEMASS - 26/12/2013 20:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my car broke down on the highway, and I had to call for a tow truck. It finally showed up, only to break down too less than a mile later. Cue nearly freezing to death while we waited for help to arrive for the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 080

You deserved it 2 787

By LeaveHimAlone - 30/12/2013 04:23 - United States - Elkridge

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 530

You deserved it 3 477

By Anonymous - 02/01/2014 02:32 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 590

You deserved it 4 294

By Anonymous - 03/01/2014 21:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 745

You deserved it 5 521

Committed

By gottacatchemall - 08/01/2014 05:43 - United States

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 886

You deserved it 29 039

By Anonymous - 10/01/2014 16:12 - United States - Shelbyville

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 345

You deserved it 5 698

By rollergirl13 - 11/01/2014 05:55 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 214

You deserved it 5 697

By Anonymous - 14/01/2014 16:15 - United Kingdom - Chester

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 993

You deserved it 4 988

By Anonymous - 16/01/2014 17:57 - United States - Springfield

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 160

You deserved it 13 088

By Anonymous - 30/01/2014 00:52 - United States - Ithaca

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 408

You deserved it 23 672

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 930

You deserved it 13 073

By Anonymous - 02/02/2014 18:39 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 067

You deserved it 6 290

WTF?

By Can't Believe It. - 03/02/2014 20:11 - United States - Fairview

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 261

You deserved it 9 220