EmpireState

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

Technique

Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML