Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML
Today, at work, my coworker's belongings went missing. Infuriated, she accused me of stealing, because I'm black and "stereotypes don't just make themselves." FML
Today, I popped two tires hitting a curb. I called my dad hysterical, and he told me to call my mom and hung up. My mom's been dead for seven years. FML
Today, I felt so lonely that I asked Siri to read me Wikipedia articles so that I could pretend I was having a conversation with a real human being. FML
Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML
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