blacopps

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I was shocked and confused as we use condoms and I'm on the pill. I confided in my friend, who guiltily confessed that her daughter swapped my pills for sugar pills and pinned through the rubbers to guarantee herself 5 more years of babysitting. FML

Today, my mom stole 18 grand from my disabled sister's trust fund to give to an online boyfriend. As a trustee, the government can go after me for what my mom did. FML

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML