Oscar_tha_grouch

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML