acrasia

Miss California, US of A 34 years-old In a relationship

Anonymous 14 August 2013, 09:11 Sanford, United States

Not so smooth criminal

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

139 comments

Mike Messenger This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff West Palm Beach, United States

This is going to get old pretty quick

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

77 comments

tigerisabelle 6 February 2014, 03:39

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

203 comments