ktpnothappening

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

Sounds like a keeper

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

Today, my husband cheated on me. In my house. While I was home. FML