OBUDDAYJOELPUTTY

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML