Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
laurenanna13
Tonguetied0496
Claremont, United States
Devil
Melbourne, Australia
Soul man
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
xtammyle
Lower Plenty, Australia
Today, I walked in on my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML