kenny_the_dino

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

Animal sanctuary

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "The gecko ate my pen drive." FML