greengreta

Today, the weather was nice so I decided to eat outside. I quickly found out that my new, expensive hair conditioner attracts bees. Lots of bees. FML

Today, at 3:00 am, I sat with my 3 year-old daughter while she tried to go back to sleep. She'd had a nightmare, and I'd read that "not leaving" was the most important thing a father could do. My wife woke and called me a pervert for sitting there. FML