summe_1487248624

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Summe_1487248624's favorite FMLs

Logic 101

By Anonymous - 07/03/2020 17:01 - Canada

Today, my 17-year-old daughter didn't do the laundry. Her excuse? "If it was meant to be done, it would have done itself." This is the same daughter who yesterday tried convincing me she was responsible enough to get a dog. FML

agreeclassic 1 639

vote type 1 293

FIFA 2020

By kicking with love - 06/03/2020 21:10

Today, I was standing next to the girl I like while she was looking at her phone. She dropped it and I tried to save it by catching it with my foot. I ended up kicking it across the room, cracking the screen. FML

agreeclassic 1 371

vote type 1 720

Crime scene

By xTRYSOFTx - 07/03/2020 03:00 - United States

Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML

agreeclassic 495

vote type 1 2 212

Yummy!

By Anonymous - 29/01/2020 18:00

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

agreeclassic 1 791

vote type 1 226

At the same time

By viscious cycle - 29/01/2020 20:00 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I went to go buy a bike lock as my bike is my only method of transportation, ironically as soon as I got the lock, my bike is gone. FML

agreeclassic 1 721

vote type 1 144