adamst26

Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML

Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML