Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML
Today, I ran into a former college classmate at Subway. He gushed on and on about how I was the only one in our class with true potential. Then I asked him what kind of sandwich he wanted, because 3 years out of college, Subway is still the only place that will hire a music major. FML
Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML
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