Jellyfeltz

SpiderMan · 12 March 2009, 00:23 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Love is love

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 495 You deserved it 106 869

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Noname · 12 March 2009, 11:24 ·New Zealand 🌶️ Spicy

Stop talking!

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 381 You deserved it 18 079

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