Miss Texasss, US of A 32 years-old
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML
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