ssshoot

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house at 9am to surprise him on our 1 year anniversary. In the process, I gatecrashed another celebration he was having with his second girlfriend. FML