Demon_Squirril

Mr Battle Ground, United States 33 years-old Single

brokeandalone 21 November 2011, 02:05 United States

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

240 comments

laststand11 This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

It's all in the timing

Today, my mom used, "Happy Thanksgiving break" and, "We sold your car" in the same sentence. FML

82 comments

Anonymous 24 November 2011, 17:07 United States

Beware!

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

105 comments