deathcharm001

Miss Toronto, Canada 29 years-old In a relationship

Trainspotting 3 April 2011, 13:32 United Kingdom

Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML

132 comments

Anonymous 3 April 2011, 15:14 United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

333 comments

craphanded This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff United Kingdom

You're welcome…

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

111 comments