PancakeMunch

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

****** around, found out

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML

I bet you're wondering how I ended up here

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

It's me

Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML