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The all-time greatest FMLs

I'm new to this, sorry

By Fifi - 01/09/2023 06:00

Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 457

Winky

By XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX - 11/04/2025 20:00 - Romania

Today, I was going to have sex with a girl, but when I got my dick out she said, "You got a nice winky." Who the fuck calls a dick a winky unless they're in kindergarten? Felt like I brought home a toddler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 200

Tough Day

By FML Videos - 04/10/2018 00:30 - United States - New York

Please don't make me get up.

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 101

Butter fingers

By Anonymous - 09/07/2026 09:00 - United - Pittsburgh

Today, I sneezed while getting my keys from my pocket on the way to my front door, dropped them into a storm drain, and then had to explain to my landlord that my reason for needing the spare key was "seasonal allergies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 63

Never get involved

By Anonymous - 21/02/2025 00:00 - Australia - Geelong

Today, because I told her ex that they were an abusive cheater after my friend cried to me about how their ex was treating them horribly for the sixth time this month, my friend blocked me. The ex told her I'd be the reason they'll stay together, and my friend begged me to talk to the ex. I refused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 103

Pay Day

By FML Videos - 11/09/2018 19:36

It's fun until the bills come.

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 102

Hush!

By Mommy issue - 19/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I took my toddler to a library story hour. He sat quietly for almost ten minutes, which should have been my first warning. Right as the librarian began reading a dramatic part, my son pointed at her and shouted, “That lady is very old.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 102

The neighbor from hell

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, armed with enthusiasm and a trowel, I ventured into my yard to plant some flowers. Not even five minutes later, I managed to dig up the cable line, cutting off not only my TV but the entire building's internet. The only thing that's blooming now is my reputation as the least popular neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 664

Custom job

By Anonymous - 13/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Thousand Oaks

Today, my toddler threw up on my one week old pair of white shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 226

Caturday visitor

By Bored - 27/04/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I once again came to the realization of how boring my life is when I noticed that the stray cat in my yard walks in a really silly manner, and I watched it for what seemed like an eternity, utterly fascinated, until it left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 170

Grossed out

By stop eating animals - 17/10/2023 15:00

Today, a barbecue joint opened near my apartment, close enough that I can smell the kitchen exhaust. I'm a vegan activist, so smelling animals being burned is a serious trauma for me. Now I either have to either move or constantly feel sick and depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 2 346

Be cool for once in your life

By Anonymous - 07/12/2024 03:00 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I attempted to give a motivational speech to my kids, trying to inspire them with life lessons. They then asked me why I couldn't "do a cartwheel like all the other parents" and challenged me to try. Now my back hurts, and I’m questioning my life choices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 267

It's a Jedi knockout

By Edouard - 22/02/2021 11:01 - Switzerland

Today, my girlfriend and I are still arguing about the same subject, which is pretty much one of the only things we disagree on: whether Obi-Wan is hotter than Anakin or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 800

Paying Bills

By FML Videos - 19/10/2018 00:30

It just disappears!

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 86

Get the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 06/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, at my godmother's funeral, I got a panic attack causing explosive diarrhea. After the service, I ran to the bathroom and absolutely nuked it. I heard everyone outside calling for me so I quickly flushed the toilet and it struggled. So I flushed again. I left that bathroom with two inches of water on the floor and rising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 108

Did the rescue work?

By Hero of the day - 19/12/2025 00:00

Today, I tried a heroic rescue: a toddler’s teddy stuck on a fifth-floor balcony. I borrowed a ladder, climbed while sweating, reached it, and felt my trousers rip with a sound like Velcro in a thunderstorm. Dangling there with my superhero boxers exposed, three people filmed me while jeering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 97

Zoning out

By Anonymous - 11/02/2025 00:00 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I went to get gas for my car. While waiting in line at the cash register, I was next person, and I noticed the cashier had her name tag on her boob. I like to know other people’s names, and the name tag said Irene. The cashier saw me looking at her breast so now I'm not sure if she thinks I’m a pervert or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 210

Oddly specific reference

By Anonymous - 28/09/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's dad. He was wearing a suit, and talks like Carson the butler from Downton Abbey. At first I thought he was putting on an act, like he was going to yell "Surprise!" at any moment and start acting normally. Nope. That’s actually how he is and it’s weirding me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 159

Boom boom boom

By Crotch goblins ruin everything! - 16/02/2026 20:00

Today, I got a new upstairs neighbor, a fucking breeder with three brats and a screeching newborn. They’ve barely started moving in their shit and I can hear the howls already. It’s not fair to put them in upstairs apartments above people just trying to enjoy some peace and quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 618

Sweet!

By Linda - 21/01/2021 17:02

Today, I learned a hard lesson: when you order 12 artificial sweeteners and 6 packets of raw sugar with your home-delivered Starbucks coffee so that you can have a small hoard to sweeten up the coffee you already have at home, they just may put all 18 items in the cup and stir it up to your apparent liking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 2 171

Scary Auntie

By Trish - 30/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I tried to bond with my baby nephew by making funny faces at him. He stared at me like I was the most confusing creature he had ever seen, then burst into tears so loud it scared the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 200

Bit of a stretch

By Anonymous - 15/02/2026 00:00

Today, I did a series of stretches recommended to me by my physical therapist to help with my hip pain. I must've done them wrong despite following the instructions exactly because when I went shopping and my basket upended itself and spilled on the floor, I was in so much agony I couldn't squat to get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 65

Disrespectful Puppy

By FML Videos - 02/10/2018 18:30

So much sass from such a small dog!

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 99

It's gone woke

By Scrafty - 01/09/2025 00:00 - United States - Mount Airy

Today, they introduced a mega evolved form of my favorite Pokémon, but it looks like a Ku Klux Klan member. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 172

Breakout

By Jennifer - 28/02/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I had a job interview. The night before, I'd noticed a small pimple forming on my chin and did everything I could to make it go away. During the interview, I couldn’t focus on anything except the giant pimple that had sprouted on my forehead. I spent the entire time trying to keep my fringe in front of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 137

Unsolicited advice

By Heather - 16/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was practicing a presentation while walking around my apartment. I didn’t realize my neighbor was standing outside my door, listening. When I opened it, he said, “Strong opening, but you lost confidence halfway.” I didn’t ask for notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 135

Dope

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 03:00

Today, someone told me to be the adult in my kid's unexplained shunning of me. She’s 30. I just spent 3k on a graduation party. No thanks from her. Yes, I’m a dope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 161

Tired and emotional

By Tired mommy - 19/11/2025 00:00

Tonight, my 7-year-old begged me for a bedtime story. Ten minutes in, I was the one nodding off while he was wide awake. I fell asleep mid-sentence because he gently shook me and said, “Mom, you snore like a Grandpa.” Then he asked if I could “try again but stay awake this time.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 178

Sticky

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, it's been a few days since I had surgery, which means I can’t wash my hair myself for a couple of weeks. Today I paid to have it washed professionally… then proceeded to spill liquid glucose all over the ends of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 125

Opportunities

By FML Videos - 05/11/2018 00:00

...and just like that, the weekend was over.

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 77

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The Top

Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of his fingernails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 46

Today, my friend, who I'm moving in with, flew up to drive from Pennsylvania to Texas, where she lives, with me. I went to the airport to pick her up and we discovered she accidentally flew to the wrong airport. On the other side of the state. I'm driving through the night to rescue her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 168

You deserved it 1 363

Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 498

You deserved it 6 118

Today, I was at a family party and everyone was seeing my new glasses for the first time. My 48 year old uncle told me that I look like a hot librarian and then grabbed my ass. He was still sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 431

You deserved it 2 966

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 618

You deserved it 56 438

Today, and ever since the booty call I work with became a lead, a position I was guaranteed, he's spread awful, untrue things about me around the office, and now that he's become buddy-buddy with management, they believe him. Don't shit where you eat, kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 2 151