Today, in a restaurant, staff asked me to fix my skirt because multiple customers complained my buttcrack was putting them off their food. I thought the waiter was using fake complaints to justify his rudeness, but when I got up to fix it fully, half the restaurant applauded me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML
Today, I came home from work to realize I had a massive rip in my shorts from my crotch to my crack. I have to lean over constantly in front of dozens of people at my job. Not one person said anything, but now I know why they were chuckling. FML
Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML
Today, the fitting room of the store I worked in smelled really bad. The customers started to complain and since I was on fitting room duty I went to go investigate. A middle aged woman pooped on the floor and then put the chair on top to cover it. FML
Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly fix a wedgie while walking into a crowded store. Right as I yanked my waistband, the automatic doors opened and revealed a full line of people staring directly at me mid-adjustment. FML
Today, I found a curly hair in my fries at a restaurant. It was disgusting, so I screamed at my waiter. To my surprise, they kicked me out of the restaurant for, "making a scene". They wouldn’t even replace my fries. When did the customer stop being right? FML
Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Today, at my job as a waiter I sharted myself while taking an order. They tipped me $20 and wrote "for new underwear" on the receipt. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
wrenavery90 12
So I'm assuming that was your first clue it was you and not them.
RichardPencil 32
You get complaints about your buttcrack? You don't have a career as a stripper, then, except maybe as one hired to ruin bachelor parties.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (3)
wrenavery90 12
So I'm assuming that was your first clue it was you and not them.
RichardPencil 32
You get complaints about your buttcrack? You don't have a career as a stripper, then, except maybe as one hired to ruin bachelor parties.