The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Anonymous · 6 September 2025, 22:00 ·Stockholm, Sweden

Waste of time

Today, my parents have separated. I stayed with them, living at home far too long for my own comfort, just to help them keep it together after they lost their remaining parents. Literally the month after I moved out, they decided it wasn't worth it. I now suspect they stayed together only because I still lived at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 131

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Cuckolded by tech · 8 February 2026, 22:00 🌶️ Spicy

It's just a vibe thing

Today, it's been four months since I bought my girlfriend the vibrator she'd been wanting. She hasn't wanted sex since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 149

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Dayanna · 19 March 2023, 00:00

Feeling betrayed

Today, my best friend refuses to attend my wedding, all because I’m marrying her ex. He left her for me but didn’t cheat. We just fell in love and he had the decency to leave the relationship before starting to date me. She refuses to understand that no matter how hard I try to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 5 058

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Wtf dude · 21 September 2026, 20:00 ·Los Angeles, United States

Hidden talent

Today, I was working overnight with a handful of coworkers, one who has a reputation for being very quiet. He and I were alone when he suddenly burst into a beautiful folk song. When I told the others what happened, he pretended he didn't know what I was talking about, and now they think I'm nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 126

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Anonymous · 24 July 2026, 20:00 ·Addlestone, United Kingdom

Germs

Today, I finally put away two weeks worth of clean laundry, only to get to the bottom of the pile and find mice droppings. I now have to wash my whole wardrobe, bed linen, and towels with disinfectant (On top of sanitising my furniture and floors). FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 144

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Alma · 12 January 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Bad hair day

Today, I spent 30 minutes fixing my hair to perfection, only to step outside and have it immediately ruined by a freak gust of rain and wind. The only thing I accomplished was looking like a disheveled bird's nest for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 191

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Anonymous · 7 July 2026, 09:00 ·Detroit, United States

This is just the beginning

Today, the power went out to my house a second time after coming on a few days ago due to a series of severe storms that rolled through the area. The first knockout took less than 12 hours. This one? A little over three days in a heat wave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 69

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Anonymous · 15 February 2022, 21:59

Alexa, play "No Fun" by The Stooges

Today, I was supposed to be meeting my daughter's boyfriend, but my wife has locked me in the basement until he leaves, so there’s no chance of me tormenting the boy. Quite wise on her part, I had all kinds of evil ideas, but now I’m locked in here, I’m bored as hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 2 623

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Cat: 1 / Me: 0 · 14 July 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Goddamn cats!

Today, when I came home from running errands, the door wouldn't open. Why wouldn't it open? My cat somehow toppled the shoe rack. I had to spend way more time than I'd like to admit looking through my trash to find something I could use to move it, during which my cat escaped and I had to chase her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 150

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Carrie · 1 December 2025, 15:00

Neat freak

Today, I cleaned my car for the first time in ages and proudly showed my friend how spotless it was. Right then, a gust of wind blew a huge mess of shit straight inside as I opened the door. She said, “Nature disagrees.” Shards of leaves and other bits of crap were everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 88

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Jake · 10 February 2023, 14:00 ·United States

Live from the lounge

Today, I was supposed fly from NOLA to Philly. Being a good roommate, I decided to get a noon-time flight so my roommates wouldn't need to get up early. Then I found out that they were also taking separate vacations, and leaving at 5am. Now I'm stuck in the airport till noon and I arrive in Philly at 7pm. I'm also broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 760

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Anonymous · 30 March 2026, 12:00

Great start to the day

Today, right before a job interview, I spilled hot coffee all over my lap. The stain looked incredibly suspicious. During the interview, the recruiter kept glancing down awkwardly while I tried to maintain eye contact and confidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 76

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onlyintx · 19 July 2021, 11:01

Technique

Today, after 3 days of vigorously scrubbing primer on the walls with a painting roller, I finally realized that simply re-wetting the roller after each stroke is the correct and easier way. Dang, can I be slow to catch on sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 1 018

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Blinded · 19 June 2023, 06:00 ·United States

Where am I?

Today, I participated in the "Color Run," an event where you walk across town while people douse you with colored powder. They have yet to implement a rule saying you can't hit people in the face. My ears are pink and blue, my hair's orange, my lips and beard are purple, and I can see better WITHOUT my glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 843

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Anonymous · 18 March 2025, 20:00 ·Alberton, South Africa

Pissed

Today, I went to the movies with some friends. During the movie, I really needed to pee but didn’t want to disturb anyone. So, I waited and waited. Finally, I couldn’t hold it anymore and bolted to the bathroom… only to get locked out of the theater in the process. The staff had to escort me back in during the end credits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 107

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Spanish Steps · 19 September 2021, 13:59 ·Spain

Alexa, play "Just Make it Stop" by Low

Today, I got stoned with the clowns at the birthday party I took my niece to. This is a new low point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 1 031

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Blueballed · 25 July 2026, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Kidblocked

Today, I swear to Christ my kid has a sixth sense. He's normally chill and well behaved, but every single time my wife and I have a moment and things start heating up a little, he either starts crying or throws a tantrum over nothing and kills the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 117

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Jeff · 6 September 2025, 09:00 ·Des Moines, United States

That one awkward guy

Today, I tried to compliment a girl at my gym by saying, “Wow, you’re really strong!” She smiled and said, “Thanks.” Then, probably to be polite, she said, “You’re really… trying.” That was her actual word choice. I went home and considered canceling my membership, but I found out that it's designed to be almost impossible to leave the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 182

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Vince · 27 March 2022, 12:00

Understanding

Today, my parents told me they won’t be attending my wedding, all because my fiancée is the woman I cheated on my ex with and left her for. What they fail to understand is that people and hearts change. It wouldn’t be fair to remain by my ex’s side while being in love with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 2 775

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Anonymous · 8 October 2025, 15:00

Face your fears

Today, I was standing in line at a burger joint, facing my social anxiety and practicing my order in my head so I wouldn’t mess it up. When it was finally my turn, I panicked and said, “One large confidence, please.” The cashier just handed me a straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 144

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Oshi · 2 May 2026, 15:00 ·Miami, United States

Bitter

Today, I got a Venmo request from a guy who I friendzoned when I announced my relationship with another guy on Instagram. He’s backcharging me for all the dinners, auto repair bills, etc., he apparently spent on me. It’s over $4000. I don’t have that kind of money and he’s threatening legal action if I don’t pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 547

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KLD · 18 November 2023, 04:00 ·United Kingdom

Very English reference

Today, I tried to organise my closet by colour-coding my clothes. In the process, I accidentally knocked over a shelf, creating an avalanche of mismatched shoes. I now have a closet that looks like it barely survived an earthquake in Selfridges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 257

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Matt · 18 July 2026, 00:00 ·Wilmington, United States

Geezer

Today, I went out to eat with some friends. I ordered a cocktail with my meal. I got carded, but had left my ID at home. Instead, I took my hat off to show that I'm bald. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 100

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Crumbs · 29 October 2026, 09:00 ·Berlin, Germany

Borderline

Today, I had a big fight with my husband. We'd made a plan for our vacation and I stuck to the plan. He screamed at me for sticking to the plan. When I pointed out that he made the plan, he shouted at me some more because I'd "spoiled the vacation." Later, he asked if I was hungry. No apology. No acknowledgement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 65

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Anonymous · 26 July 2022, 06:00 🌶️ Spicy

Still hanging on

Today, while having sex with my husband, he told me to put my legs around him, which I did. He then whispered sweetly in my ear, "You better hold on tight spider monkey." This is when I knew my Twilight obsession went too far. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 1 583

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Anonymous · 20 January 2026, 15:00

What happened?

Today, a day or two after a really close friend of mine offered for me to move in with him, he has me blocked on everything, because he cheated on his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 79

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Anonymous · 2 July 2026, 12:00 ·Italy

Big beautiful family

Today, my parents decided that I, as 'lady', should give importance to things that matter that is be their Cinderella, their taxi, and the person who should honor the family, just because one of them can't handle her cheating husband, and the other is disappointed that all of his other children are either drug addicts or ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 74

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Susanna · 7 December 2024, 09:00 ·Ireland

What does that even mean?

Today, I found out that my grocery store's self-checkout system has been calling me “Aisle Champion” every time I scan an item. I’m not sure if I should be proud or concerned that it’s the only recognition I’ve gotten all year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 108

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Anonymous · 13 September 2026, 20:00 ·United Kingdom

Not the only the only thing that's empty

Today, my daughter called me panicking that her car died in the middle of the road. I had to FaceTime her to talk her through calling a tow truck. Turns out she ignored the warning lights telling her that the tank was low and drove it until the tank was empty. I had to pay for that, plus the tow fees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 138

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Anonymous · 4 November 2025, 15:00

Bigfoot

Today, I went for a walk in my brand new shoes that I bought around four days ago. I've always had problems walking on my right foot and when I was younger we couldn't buy Payless shoes as they'd be torn to pieces within a month. The left shoe felt perfectly fine; the right one feels like it's already disintegrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 86

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