Today, I found out I might have been exposed to HPV. So what do I do? End up in the internet self-diagnosis rabbit hole. Now I'm convinced I have something. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML
Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML
Today, I finally went to the doctor's office to have a small patch of acne on my stomach looked at. Since it was in an almost perfect circle and abnormally sensitive, I was worried it could be ringworm or some other sort of skin infection. It turned out to be an infection alright. Herpes. FML
Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML
Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML
Today, I found out that I have at least stage 3 cancer. I went on my insurance's website to get information for the doctors. I also saw "Other people who have been on your plan." My ex-wife was listed, with a new last name. She got remarried. I'm just going to let the cancer take me at this point. FML
Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML
Today, after decades of 24/7 cognitive impairment and being made to feel like a hypochondriac by many doctors over the years, I learned I have a severe physical illness. I kept researching and discovered my own illness, found out which test to ask for, and finally showed doctors proof. FML
Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML
Today, I got a call from my doctor telling my I tested positive for an STI (first time in my fucking life). Mind you, I got the call while my dermatologist was cutting open my butt cheek to drain an abscess. I also got told on top of the new hole in my ass and the STI that I also have a yeast infection. Happy Monday. FML
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Top comments
Suzi_d16 27
There’s like 120 didn’t strains of HPV. The vaccine doesn’t protect against them all. Many strains are actually harmless and most people have some form of HPV.
RichardPencil 32
Because they didn't want Bill Gates to track them using 5G. And they can always get ivermectin from their local veterinarian.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Well, hurry up and get the HPV vaccine. It may cause you to grow a vestigial tail, but at least you won't get cooties. (I've researched many science websites on this topic.)
Chazzster 32
Seriously, make an appointment with a doctor. It will either lay your fears to rest or tell you what to realistically expect and how to deal with it. In the meantime use protection - HPV is not the only STD.
Brightside86 31
HPV is really common, why haven't you gotten the vaccine? I mean sure it's a bit of a pain, but better than cancer ya know?
RichardPencil 32
Because they didn't want Bill Gates to track them using 5G. And they can always get ivermectin from their local veterinarian.
Suzi_d16 27
There’s like 120 didn’t strains of HPV. The vaccine doesn’t protect against them all. Many strains are actually harmless and most people have some form of HPV.
Yudith 28
It's cancer. When you use diagnosis out of the Internet, it's always cancer.