Today, I made myself a smoothie with fruits and wild greens, which tasted much better than it looked, so I licked the splashes off the blender’s lid. Including a stray leaf that didn’t get blended. Which turned out to be stinging nettle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML
Today, I was excited to try out my new blender, but when I turned it on, the lid flew off and sprayed smoothie all over my kitchen. Now I have a fruity polka dot pattern on parts of my kitchen's walls and ceiling. FML
Today, I'm on a certain diet. I had to have a green protein banana smoothie for breakfast. I shook it up, took a mouthful, and immediately started gagging. Apparently, the seal for the bottle had fallen in, and it got stuck in my throat. Luckily it was slimy and came out relatively easily. I paid $12 for that. FML
Today, I was washing a sink full of lettuce that I'd grown, which had been in the hot sun. My husband was preparing fish for dinner and took all the juices that had drained off the raw fish, reached over my shoulder, and dumped the juice on my lettuce. I asked if that was the fish juice. He said no. FML
Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML
Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML
Today, I made a protein shake at the gym. I somehow didn't screw the lid on tight enough, so when I took one huge gulp, the shake exploded all over my face, shirt, and the gym mirror. Now I look like I lost a fight with a chocolate milkshake. FML
Today, I started to make a protein shake to have a healthy breakfast. It exploded. Turns out, my mom lost the rubber gasket and put the blender back, so it looked ready to use. By the time I cleaned it all up, it was time for me to leave for work. I'm now eating chips from the vending machine. FML
Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML
Today, I ended up in the hospital by accidentally eating poisonous berries, from a plant that I've known since childhood to be poisonous, which I also recognized as belonging to the nightshade family. I still don’t understand what made them look tasty. Brain fart of the century, I guess. FML
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Top comments
cacheson 42
Why did you not check for toxic plants in your “wild” greens? It could have been much worse!
AceofHearts96 10
That's not how nettles work... they can be blended up or boiled down and they won't sting. People use them in tea etc.
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Comments (2)
cacheson 42
Why did you not check for toxic plants in your “wild” greens? It could have been much worse!
Mitsuha Misenica 3
Stinging Nettles aren't very toxic to humans, we make tea out of them.
cacheson 42
Yes, but that’s different from just licking a stinging nettle leaf. My point was that op could have ended up with actually toxic plants by not checking.
Brightside86 31
Wow, good thing you figured it out before you got to find out what being stung from the inside is like.
AceofHearts96 10
That's not how nettles work... they can be blended up or boiled down and they won't sting. People use them in tea etc.