Today, I was at work with my boyfriend. I was being playful and recounting something that had happened in my D&D session the night before. I imitated the roar from the dragon that the DM had done, and midway though, the postman walked in with a delivery. He walked back out without a word. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, we had our busiest day at work all year with lots of angry people calling, and a co-worker called in sick. I went to my local game shop after work, exhausted and upset, and guess who was at his usual table running a Dungeons and Dragons group, apparently not too sick to go out. Yeah. FML
Today, I was doing weird voice impressions for my friend right before the doorbell rang and I had the front window open. The postman looked at me strangely, handed me my parcel and didn't say a word. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML
Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML
Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML
Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML
Today, I was home alone and decided to try on my Halloween costume, a giant inflatable dinosaur suit. As I was prancing around the living room, my doorbell rang. Without thinking, I answered it. It was the mailman with a package. The look on his face as he handed a T-rex a box was priceless, but now he probably thinks I’m nuts. FML
Today, I secretly took a day off work, since I had to use up my vacation, and wanted a "me day." My wife called, and I was ready to pretend to be at work. Too bad the cat decided to come up behind me and meow loudly, alerting my wife that I was home. She's pissed. FML
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Top comments
Rake 18
This is just so cool *jealous*
RichardPencil 32
Did he leave the delivery, though? It'd be funnier if you scared the mailman so much, he kept your package safe from dragons.
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Comments (2)
Rake 18
This is just so cool *jealous*
RichardPencil 32
Did he leave the delivery, though? It'd be funnier if you scared the mailman so much, he kept your package safe from dragons.