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Oh well, you tried

By Perthgal96 - 15/11/2023 22:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got my pendulum board and I was asking it questions when my mum asked me to ask it if her and 'Jose' will be together. The same person/catfish who scammed 7 thousand dollars from her. She didn't believe me when the board said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 140

Cats pick sides

By Anonymous - 18/02/2025 03:00

Today, after an argument with my husband, I was sat in the front room calming down when the stupid cat decided she was going to jump up onto me, spilling a full coffee cup over my husband's PS5. He's convinced I did it on purpose after the argument, when it really was all the damn cat's fault FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 193

Seems reasonable

By Anonymous - 04/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband kicked me out because I told him I'm having an abortion. He just doesn't understand that with the way our country is right now, and how bad the economy is, it's just not a good idea to have kids at the present time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 659

Razor sharp focus

By Anonymous - 12/09/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband spent all day on Skyrim trying out trick archery shots, things like shooting the butterflies, shooting a running rabbit, shooting himself by firing into the air. Meanwhile, I’d been at work, the kitchen was a mess, he didn’t walk the dog, and he missed my Amazon delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 128

Always prepared

By Johnny Scizz - 20/11/2024 12:00 - United States - Bothell

Today, I went to test start my generator because there is a big wind storm coming in (a bomb cyclone according to the news). As I was pull-starting the generator, the rope broke. OK. Went to Home Depot to get a new rope and installed it. I broke the spring assembly installing the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 84

Bad sitter

By Angelina - 11/08/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I came home from vacation to pick up my dog from the sitter, only to find out he had passed away while in her care. I asked for answers and she simply said, “I dunno, he just woke up dead.” I demanded more answers and she said, “Girl, what else do you want me to tell you? The fuck I look like Osmosis Jones?!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 73

Unreliable narrator

By CannaFox - 28/03/2026 00:00

Today, I always wondered how my younger sister maintained a good relationship with her dad, as she knows I was horribly abused by him for several years. Now, I found out that she “doesn’t agree” with it, and thinks it was all my imagination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 54

Family time comes first

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I lost my job because my mom and stepdad forced me to go on our family vacation, even though my time off got rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 123

Snap

By Lost Reggie - 15/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Vilonia

Today, I was at work, eating coleslaw of all things, and my tooth broke in half. Diagonally. The bottom half fell out into my coleslaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 78

Masterchef 2020

By Reggie - 28/10/2020 19:58 - United States - Tahlequah

Today, I went to make chilli and instead of just using 3 cups of water like the recipe called for, I ended up using 3 quarts somehow. Now I have a pot of hot and spicy meat water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 1 337

Check yourself out

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I resorted to trying to guilt trip my husband into getting his prostate checked. He asked for one good reason why he should, so I said because he has two kids who don’t want to see him get prostate cancer. His response, "Nope, not good enough, now leave me alone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 194

How do you eat a hamburger?

By Always my fault - 28/03/2026 12:00

Today, my son won't go to his team dinner because the other kids made fun of him for "eating like a monkey." My wife says this is my fault. Funny, when I tried to teach him not to eat with his fingers, she got mad and ranted that "people ALL OVER THE WORLD eat with their fingers, it's normal, stop criticizing him!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 95

Epic fury

By Eek - 15/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my husband discovered a big wasp nest on the porch. Rather than spray it, he decided to suck up the wasps with the vacuum. He also did not empty it. I can see the still living wasps buzzing furiously inside the vacuum chamber and I'm scared to touch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 91

He's got game

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I caught my son sneaking a woman out of his room at 5 a.m. After she was gone, I started with the questions, one of which was, “Well, what’s her name?” His response was, “No idea, I only met her last week.” I’ve raised one of “those guys.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 225

There's a Brendon Burns joke in there somewhere

By Fucking, Impossible - 23/12/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I was attacked with the classic "I fucked your mom" joke. I calmly informed the troll that my mom is 51, obese, still married to my father after 20+ years, and, most importantly, had a life-saving hysterectomy when I was five. He still insisted that he did the act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 1 257

He studies the blade

By Anonymous - 11/01/2022 11:01

Today, my boyfriend dumped me and walked away from our life together, because I wouldn’t let him indulge his stupid manchild hobby of collecting swords to hang on the walls. He already has two, why the hell would he want more than that? Bullet dodged, but 2 years together wasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 4 257

Nice try, Susan

By Anonymous - 08/11/2024 00:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my estranged wife threatened to slit her wrist with a razor blade if I did not send her $50,000. She sent me a picture of her pressing a Gillette Safety razor to her wrist. It looked like she was getting ready to shave her perpetually hairy arms. She never was the sharpest knife in the drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 89

What? How?

By Anonymous - 22/09/2023 10:00

Today, I was at the chiropractor's being examined. As we were finding all my problem areas, she said to me, “It’s almost like you spend a lot of time with all your weight on one shoulder while doing a repetitive twisting motion.” She just described mine and my wife’s favourite sex position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 223

Brain fog

By Anonymous - 16/08/2024 06:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I walked out of the grocery store, loaded my bags into my car, then sat in the driver’s seat. I tried to start the engine, but the key wouldn’t turn. That’s when I noticed the child’s seat in the back, which I don’t have. I was in the wrong car, and the owner was standing outside, laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 210

Drowning

By ihateschool - 27/03/2024 06:00 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I've been sick for five days and I have two college essays and a exam coming up, along with a few other assignments. I've been working non-stop for five days with less than six hours of sleep per day, and more assignments are flowing in as I am working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 145

Terms and conditions may apply

By Why? - 29/09/2025 00:00

Today, I talked with my fiance about our wedding. He drew up a prenuptial agreement. One of the provisions said that if I ever go vegetarian or vegan, we immediately divorce and I get nothing. I thought it was a joke and laughed. He was deadly serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 242

Windfall

By Jimmy - 12/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, I went to a casino with $300 to spend and somehow walked out with $21K. When I told my wife, she sighed and moaned about how annoying taxes will be, and how I should have pushed my luck further. The house always wins, even when it loses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 70

FML Shitflix Episode 2

By FML Approved - 26/07/2017 18:30 - France - Paris

Can you name the movie before the timer runs out?

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 132

No doxxing

By Anonymous - 21/04/2026 09:00 - United States - Yorktown

Today, me and my coworkers repaired a deck for a couple in Pungo. They got us lunch from a sandwich shop we’d been to a few times before. All of us, the couple, and dozens more people then got Norovirus from one of the sandwich shop employees. I puked so much that I lost SEVEN POUNDS in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 60

What the hell is this workplace?

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 22:00

Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I decided to rub one out in the office bathroom. I did it twice (morning/afternoon), and both times, there were two different guys clearly doing the same thing. The downstairs office bathroom is apparently a pit of desperation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 1 643

High pressure

By Anonymous - 03/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I learned that not all toilets are created equal. I visited a friend's house, and their super fancy toilet decided to give me a surprise bidet experience. The water pressure was so high, I ended up soaking my clothes. I had to borrow my friend's brother's clothes. He’s 14. I’m 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 102

Never flip flop and drive

By Alyce - 09/10/2020 14:10 - United States - Lewistown

Today, I was supposed to deliver my S/O's keys to the garage, where he got his car fixed after a minor accident. I pulled out of my alley, only to have my flip flop catch on my accelerator, causing me to hit another car passing by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 1 596

Full stop

By Anonymous - 22/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, after my husband and I had been fighting, he left to go to his mom's and said we just needed some space. I later saw that he had deleted all my family, friends, and has our marriage hidden on Facebook, and has taken my name and "husband" out of his bio. He's already told everyone we split. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 195

Dog Jump Fail

By FML Approved - 18/10/2017 21:10 - United States - New York

Practice doesn't always make perfect!

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 111

Sweetie

By Anonymous - 24/02/2025 20:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my youngest daughter was going through separation anxiety when I dropped her off at school. After ten minutes of me comforting her, the teacher said, "C'mon, you have to let Nan go now so you can join in with the class." Ummm, I'm her mum, not her grandparent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 130

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The Top

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 229

You deserved it 18 859

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 141

You deserved it 3 205

Today, I walked to school in - 5°C degree weather, snow up to ankles, for an exam. The school had closed and warned all the parents, but mine didn't tell me, because it was "funnier". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 705

You deserved it 4 629

Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before, but they usually leave early. I heard someone in the kitchen and, thinking it was my brother, I said, "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma then responded, "No, we're not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 502

You deserved it 74 302

Today, to repay my brother who's been hosting me, I took his laundry out to wash. Loading the machine, I gave a tug on the corner of a towel and the biggest dildo I've ever seen flew out of the basket and bounced to a stop in the middle of the floor. Every. One. Saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 640

You deserved it 1 027

Today, I was walking into my office building when I tripped over a doormat and fell flat on my face right in front of the security guard. As I tried to stand up, I kicked the door, slamming shut with a dramatic bang. I looked up to see that the entire building lobby was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 125